Another stupid 'my corner of the web' blog. I plan on this being my outlet for frustration long after my friends have died of boredom listening to me rail for/against "The Man". Then, instead of complaining, I'll just point my friends here!

12.07.2005

Update!


I've received considerable criticism that I'm not whining enough here. So, I whine.


Recovery going well. Nasal suction is a very bizarre sensation. There's really nothing weirder than having crap vacummed from your nose using suction. You feel like your head is being turned inside out. Once its over, your sinuses and nasal cavities feel remarkably good. It's a very interesting experience, and something I always wondered about as a child; why do I have to blow my nose, why can they just suck out all the snot?

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"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly, he'll basically give you a hard time. He'll be bigger, faster, and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, But, he'll be pretty good in the sack."
"I can put up with that," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah well, he's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, there is one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
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